Say what? Learning a new lingo…

Hey!!  Great to see you again!  This is going to be a short blog post for once, because…

a) my mum has been complaining that they are always too long! Haha!

b) my arms are shaking SO much I can hardly type!  I’ve just finished an intense work out, as I need to toughen up my back and get my core muscles back to keep up with an ever-growing baby, and I need to get bikini-ready for the summer (wishful thinking!), and…..and, I want to be back to complete strength before my next bump (no, I’m not pregnant…yet)!!!

c) my arrrrmmmmsssss……arghhhhhh…..

So, what’s in store for you today?  Will you need a box of tissues?  No!  I promise to try and make you laugh, or at least smile, today!  So leave those tissues be, get cosy, and feast your eyes on this.


Emilia is now 8 months.  That’s 8 months of learning in the ways of motherhood.  And boy, have I learnt some things!  Before I became a mum, I had no idea how different a mum’s life is to everyone else’s.  It’s like they speak a whole different language.  If you’ve been a mum for a long time, you probably won’t remember what it was like before having kids, but for a newbie mum like myself, I’m finding that learning how to speak this new language has been very eye-opening!  Here are a few things I’ve learnt since joining up…how many of these can all you fellow mums relate to?

Say what?

When I said that becoming a mum is like learning a new language, I actually meant that literally as well as figuratively.  I like reading up on things on these “mum” sites, where mums can chat about different things and share advice, etc and at first I had NO idea what all these abbreviations on there meant!  See if you can decipher this, for example:  “Now that my DD is 1 yo, my OH and I thought it was time to have another one.  So we DTD a few weeks ago, and I was hoping for a BFP, but instead received my AF instead.”  I could go on, but you get the point.  Translation?  “Now that my dear daughter is 1 year old, my other half and I thought it was time to have another one.  So we did the deed a few weeks ago, and I was hoping for a big fat positive, but instead received my period (Aunt Flo) instead.”  Why are all the abbreviations necessary you ask?  Well, who has time to type out “mother in law” when you have a baby to keep alive?!

Mum’s are like firefighters…

…but instead of always knowing where all the fire exits are, we always know where all the lifts are located, and where the nearest nappy changing facilities are, AT ALL times!!

Sing it like you mean it

Suddenly songs take on a whole new meaning, and one line can get you through the whole day.  You find yourself singing with such passion and zeal, that you half expect to receive a phone call from Louis Walsh, telling you, “you’ll be the next big thing”!  Taylor Swift lyrics are particularly powerful, such as “haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate” after a stranger was giving you the stink eye in the supermarket because your baby was crying her eyes out after you wouldn’t all her to hold the box of eggs!  Or was it because you forgot to brush your hair, and your face was in such a state not even make up could touch it?!

Taking it up a notch

Mums, I must ask, will my voice ever drop back down to normal or will I have an ultra-soprano baby voice forever!?  I feel like my voice has gone up a few octaves since Emilia’s birth. I’m pretty sure Becks, our rabbit, quivers and shakes every time I speak to Emilia.  Or more like, squeak to Emilia.  I’m also pretty sure Becks growled in anger, when I sang “Itsy Bitsy Spider” earlier, and our neighbour’s dog whimpered and wailed involuntarily!

Have a good day!

Prior to Emilia, “having a good day” used to mean, I was mega productive, or I went on some crazy adventure, or I did nothing all day and chilled to the max.  Now, “having a good day” means, Emilia hasn’t pooped in the bath for once (yup, she finds her baths too relaxing…I have never used so much bleach in my life!), I ate three meals a day or we managed to leave the house on time!  Can I get an amen?!

Emmental, Brie, Camembert – the cheesier, the better!

Please, please, please promise me you won’t judge me!!   Oh man, I never thought I’d share this.  Should I simply use my internal, Paul-taught filter, and not share this piece of juicy blackmail-worthy material?  Alright, alright…here goes.  Have you ever watched movies on Sky channel 327 (Movies 24).  That actually felt like a relief, no more guilt and shame, haha.  I have become a MASSIVE softie, and now love cheesy movies!  You know the movies I mean right?  The ones where the lead actor always looks vaguely like a famous actor?  And you can tell three minutes into the movie, how its all going to play out?  Yup, that’s the one!  You know you are in for a cheese fest if the tittle is something like, “Love in the Kitchen” or “My Gal Sunday”.  Oh, and the worse the acting, the happier the movie.  It’s just that if I am going to use up some of my precious time, I want to feel safe in knowing that each movie I watch will have a happy ending.  I don’t have the emotional capacity for sad endings, crazy twists and complicated plots anymore.  Someone help me!  Don’t judge, go on, I know you want to check it out!

Trying to catch some Z’s

Who remembers sleeping in till 1 or 2 in the afternoon, as a teenager, and still feeling tired?!  All I want these days is a lie in till 7, or dare I say it, 7.30!  I know some of you consider 5am a lie in, and some of you don’t even sleep at all – my deepest sympathies to you wonderfully strong and tenacious people!

The time according to Emilia is…

No need to look at the time anymore!  I now go by, mealtimes and naptimes.  If Emilia’s having her lunch, I know it’s roughly 11 o’clock.  When I hit that tired wall in the middle of the day, I know it’s 1 o’clock!  Works every time 🙂  Anyone with me?

Shop till you drop!

Not as exciting as it sounds, but I have started doing our weekly grocery shop in the evening once Emilia is in bed, and Paul is back from work.  In a weird way, it has become a bit of a treat – I get time to myself!  It’s also fantastically quiet in the shops at that time, and you are always guaranteed a parking space close to the entrance 🙂  I literally go down every aisle, even the pet aisle, and savour each minute of “freedom”!  Every now and again, I do like to take Emilia shopping too as she loves to sit in the trolley and enjoy all attention she gets from the other shoppers!  She has her charming smile down to perfection…oh help!

Because you know it’s all about the food…

Since weaning Emilia, my food horizon has expanded and surprised me!  There are a quite a lot of things I give her, that I enjoy eating myself!  For example, cheesy paprika-spiced cous cous with avocadoes, or porridge with mashed bananas and cinammon – yum!  I have loved our weaning experience, it has definitely been one of my favourite so far.  Getting to choose all her meals, making up all sorts of dishes, letting her try as many things as possible, experimenting with seasoning other than salt…it’s been so much fun!  Yes, I’m a geek!

Alright mum!  I hear you!  I had better finish up before I get in trouble!  

I would love to hear some new linguistic skills from all you other mums out there!  Leave me a comment and share some of your experiences with us!  Also, get in touch if there is anything in particular you’d like me to write about soon…I am always open to suggestions 🙂

Thanks for reading, you are wonderful! Xx

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