Those of you that have been pregnant before…have you ever felt so massive, and yet completely invisible at the same time? Have you ever felt like people just talk to your bump for which you have merely become a transportation device? And how quickly did it take you to realise that when someone asks you “How are you?” it’s not meant for you but for the bump? Yup, I hear you.
In this blog we will be discussing these, and other, so-called Bump Issues! Don’t worry I AM NOT a Bump hater, I LOVE my bump to pieces but I also like to keep it real and say it how it is….after all, this blog is supposed to be a collection of my honest opinions and observations about pregnancy…
By the way…Hello! Great to have you back! I got a bit carried away this week, launching straight in! Well, you know what to do (as my blogs can get rather lengthy!), grab yourself that drink, get cosy and enjoy the read 🙂
I’m now well over 30 weeks pregnant and still loving it! I remember being 7 or 8 weeks pregnant and thinking it will be forever until I reach 30 weeks, it seems soooooo far away, but all of a sudden it’s there. You’ll wake up one morning and instead of simply just getting out of bed, you find yourself having to build up momentum to launch into the roll-out-of-bed manoeuvre! That’s when you realise – you’re in the final countdown! And everyone, let’s sing it together now, “It’s the final countdown…” Here’s this week’s size comparison…
Week 30 | A head of lettuce | Have you ever seen a 40cm head of lettuce? That’s just silly! The size of Conchita’s gob as she won Eurovision is probably more accurate! Lol
Right, enough of that, let’s go back to how we started…let’s discuss this whole Bump Issue. The first issue I want to address is the issue of suddenly becoming completely invisible to people, as all they can see and talk about is the bump. I don’t really remember at what point exactly in my pregnancy, my very precious bump started to eclipse my existence and took centre stage. It must have been when it started to show more, in all its glory, blissfully unaware of what this meant for me! Mums always talk about a sense of “loosing their identity” somewhat once they have children and although I don’t understand this struggle fully yet, I am starting to get an idea of what they mean by it. I really don’t mind that all most people seem to talk to me about now is the bump and when I’m due, because luckily I have friends and family in my life that still genuinely want to know how I’m doing, but it has been very eye-opening to experience this new “invisibility” (despite feeling like a hippo!).
Another Bump Issue is the size of the bump. I never realised how much of a deal people make of how small or large your bump is, and how many opinions people seem to have on the subject! Wow, they should offer a degree course on the topic! You do feel like you are judged all the time…is my bump too big/small? Am I carrying it well? Is the bump too high or too low? How do I compare to other women at the same stage? Arrrgghhh!! It can drive you crazy, and it’s made worse because you are already on a hormonal rollercoaster which makes everything seem so much more intense than it is. Again, people don’t mean any harm by it, but it is just a whole new reality for me.
This brings me to a more delicate, and more challenging Bump Issue. Watching my body go through so many changes, and seeing this bump getting bigger and bigger, without having any control over it, does, from time to time bring up some self image struggles I thought I had long left behind. As I like to keep it real with this blog, and I always aspire to help others who have, or are going through similar things, I want to share this specific Bump Issue with you. I was never a very confident child growing up, and used to have a severely low self-esteem. I couldn’t accept myself the way I was, especially in terms of body image, and this, along with some other issues, eventually resulted in an eating disorder a number of years ago. It was one of the darkest times in my life. Although it made me “feel” powerful and in control (which is obviously not the case), it left me feeling completely dead inside. It’s a feeling that is hard to describe, but I wouldn’t wish for anyone to go through it. Thankfully, one of my sisters realised what was going on, and despite my denial (and lies), she was able to “snap me out” of this horrible episode and helped me to recover. However, as with many things in life that we have to overcome and work through, the memories will always remain. They try to reawaken the past, and tempt you back into old patterns. This started happening with me. My bump kept growing, people kept commenting on how big I was getting, and I started to become more and more anxious. Craving that sense of power and control. (Just to reassure you, I have never acted on it again thankfully.) How do I deal with these rekindlings of the past? Well, let me share some important pieces of advice that have tremendously helped me. Firstly, being a Christian, God will always be and has always been my main source of help in any situation. He gives me the strength that I need to move on, and He has never once left me on my own. Secondly, realise that you can’t cope with this on your own. Tell someone that you trust about your struggles, so that if an episode tries to emerge they can step in and talk you out of it. Paul is very good at seeing the “signs” and keeping an eye on me. And lastly, don’t loose perspective. Think about what matters, keep focused on what is actually important. In this case, it’s the health and well-being of my baby! What is more important than making sure she is safe and cared for? Love is a powerful healer. (Please get in touch with me, if you have gone or are going through similar things and want someone to talk to. Don’t go it alone)
Ok, that’s definitely enough of the heavy stuff…now for some fun Bump Issues! I really adore my bump! It makes me so happy just looking at it, knowing that inside is the most beautiful, wonderful, adorable baby!! I love watching the bump move and change shape depending on how the baby lies, it’s so cute seeing wobbles and kicks! I also love singing to our sweetie pie, and playing “Hide and Seek” by way of tapping…it’s all so unbelievably amazing! Here are just a few positive Bump Issues:
– Strangers smile at you more! Unfortunately, the pervs are still smiling at you too but nothing seems to deter them I’ve learnt!
– A reduced maternity wardrobe means less faffing about choosing what to wear! It’s great, I actually quite like my outfit decisions being made very simple for me!
– Although I do enjoy being an independent person, every now and again it’s nice to play the “vulnerable card”. A quick flash of the bump and suddenly, doors fly open, chairs get pulled out for you, bags are snatched out of your hand, crowds part like the Red Sea….
– You save money on water. As your body mass is greater, less bath water is needed and therefore you are saving a few pennies…this is fantastic news when you are married to a half-Scot! (For those of you, probably just my Mum!, that have breathed through life without learning this powerful stereotype about Scottish people, let me enlighten you. Scots are said to be quite stingy and tight with their money. Another saying is, they have short arms and deep pockets! Haha)
– Speaking of my husband, he has definitely been so supportive and helpful, and feels more in touch with the pregnancy now that he can clearly “see” the evidence!
– Oh, and I can’t forget this last one I’m going to mention, the bump could save your life in water by acting as a flotation device! It’s not to be sniffed at!
Those of you with a bump, I hope you go out with new appreciation and pride! Those of you that have all this to come, you are going to love it! And those of you that have left the bump days behind….well, you have hopefully enjoyed a trip down memory lane! Any wisdom or comments from any of you are always welcome, I’d love to hear your thoughts, so make sure you get in touch every once in a while 🙂
In closing, I do have a confession to make….I am feeling a bit ill. Do you want to know why? Because I have a weakness for Thai Sensation crisps, and once I start munching there’s no stopping me! I have literally nibbled most of my way through this blog! Why can’t they be my pregnancy craving? I would be able to feel a bit more justified…Xx